The poem ‘Father to Son’, written by Elizabeth Jennings, is a strong emotional poem implicating the generation gap that a father and his son have. Although they are sharing a roof, they are not sharing thoughts. This is a universal problem that is not easily resolved. This poem portrays the strong emotions of a father about the differences he and his son have. Even though they are near each other, they are farther away in their individual spaces. While the father is trying to build a connection with him, it seems impossible. It seems there are no common interests between them.
Father to Son: Summary
The poem ‘Father to Son’ starts with the very note of how a father doesn’t understand his child even when they are living in the same house for several years. He knows nothing about his mind, choices and opinions. Although the son resembles him physically, there is a wide gap between their thought processes. The poem portrays a universal problem, the generation gap and inability to communicate between a father and a son.
The father did try to understand his son, to build a relationship with him, but failed terribly. He then goes on to speak about the thread of connection missing between them. He feels that either he had destroyed or misplaced the seed of connection. Living in the same house, they are no more than strangers with no understanding between them. The poem highlights the space and difference between the two generations.
The father confessed that his child’s physical shape resembles his own, but they do not have anything in common with regard to their choices and opinions. Therefore, the father finds it hard to love everything that his son loves. The lack of having something in common results in the lack of communication between the two. The son is moving ahead, strolling through new adventures in his own life.
The father, however, wishes that he would return to the world like the prodigal son. While he appreciates his son exploring new love, lands and ups and downs in life, his grief grows bigger as he feels dissociated from his son. He feels anger at having lost his son in his process of growth. However, he realises that they are both in the process of forgiving and hope to reunite.
Father to Son: Important Concepts
Some of the most important concepts of the poem ‘Father to Son’ are:
- This poem portrays what a generation gap and lack of communication can do to a relationship
- In the first stanza, the father is talking about his own weaknesses that stopped him from understanding his son
- This poem shows the unrealistic expectations that parents might have for their children sometimes, like having common interests, same opinions and choices
- In the third stanza, the father expects his son to explore new land, love and grow through the ups and downs of life
- In the last stanza, the father is shown to be lamenting if the fact that the grief of not being able to understand each other has given rise to anger in him
- The poem ends with a positive note where the father is seen to be realising that both he and his son are in the process of forgiving and they would unite very soon
Things to Remember
The poem starts with the talk of an exclusively personal experience but rises up to the universal phenomena that are the generation gap and inability to communicate due to lack of common interests and disregard for individuality.
The father is supposed to be the friend, guide and philosopher to his children, but this poem shows a different reality, where the father and the son lack similar interests. The father and the son in this poem live under the same roof, but they do not speak or share their personal experiences with each other. It depicts the father’s helplessness.
There are several phrases/lines that are indicators of the distance that the father and son have, and it begins in the first line itself:
‘I don’t understand this child’.
‘I know nothing of him.’
‘We speak like strangers.’
‘Silence surrounds us.’
The poem in the first two stanzas follows the abba scheme where there is a slight alteration observed in the third and fourth stanzas. There is no consistent rhyme scheme in the poem as all the stanzas end with a different note.
Conclusion
The poem presents the phenomenal problem of generation gap and inability of holding a proper communication between a parent and the children. While the father in the poem narrates the ditance that has cropped in his relationship with his son, he talks about his own weakness and rigidity where he disregarded the individuality of his son’s choices and opinions. The poem ends with a positive note where the father understands that both he and his son are in a process of forgiving each other and reunion.