Dysfunctional Families

Let’s start with a family. A family is a group of people rated by marriage, adoption, and blood. Legally, only one of these three relations can make people a family.

Dysfunctional Families Meaning

A dysfunctional family is a family that doesn’t function normally.In dysfunctional families, issues like conflict, domestic violence, wife battering, child neglect, and abuse are rampant. 

Dysfunctional families accept these issues as normal and it keeps happening continuously and regularly. There is no understanding so there is a repeated cycle of these issues.

How Dysfunctional Families Function

There are a few characteristics of dysfunctional families. They are:

• Denial: members of a dysfunctional family are unwilling to admit that there is a problem with their families. Usually admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards solving it. When they deny having a problem they are also denying solutions to their problems.
• Isolation: members of a dysfunctional family do not engage in many social activities. They do not keep close friends in proper families. Even in the family, there is isolation. There is no togetherness, love, or care. They all act like strangers. 
• Underlying issues: usually there is an issue that results in a family becoming dysfunctional. It may be issues, secrets, or grievances from the past carried by one or both parents. This brings distrust and pain. The parents start to drift apart. There can also be addictions or compulsions that one or both of the parents are into like taking hard drugs, excessive drinking, watching pornography, hitting people, shouting, doing things in excess, keeping late nights, and so on. These issues can also be some bad habits too.
• Divisions: in some families, there are always warring parties. It can be father against mother, parents against children, and so on. These divisions are caused by a lack of trust and bitterness. Lack of communication and misunderstanding are also causes of dysfunctional families.
• No set of rules or values: dysfunctional families don’t have rules that guide or govern them. Things are fine whoever they please. The children are not taught manners, etiquette, courtesy, or good behaviors. They don’t value or cherish anything like hard work, respect, education, family time, and the like. Everyone acts as they please, according to their own rules. This will later lead to misunderstanding and conflict.
• Poor communication: Not all dysfunctional families are violent. Some are quiet but they have a lot of tension in them. Parents who are too busy to take care of their children will lose their children’s trust and confidence. Soon they would be like strangers. One party will try to please the other and fail. Most of their communications are mundane, vague, or irrelevant. Some of them can lead to a series of heated arguments.

How does it begin? 

Usually, it starts with the parents. Two married people are to form a lovely union. When one or both of them is toxic, there is a problem. No matter how well they try to hide or deny it, it will affect the family later on.

Dysfunctional Parents

Dysfunctional parents are a result of bad experiences, poor mental or emotional health, dysfunctional families, abuse, distrust, and addictions.

Most times a child from a dysfunctional family will start a dysfunctional family because he or she does not know how to break the cycle.

Dysfunctional parents are irresponsible. They do not take their family or responsibilities seriously. 

Some dysfunctional parents hit their children, not as a form of correction, but to take out their frustrations on them or out of wickedness. Some abuse their children physically, sexually, verbally, and emotionally. 

They are not supportive of their spouse or children’s goals and dreams. They do not have the interest or welfare of their families in mind. 

They do not communicate with others effectively. Some of them try to control or make the lives of their children and spouses.

They are sometimes indifferent, hot-tempered, and quick to react without thinking. 

Dysfunctional Family Examples

Now please note that dysfunctional parents are the major causes of dysfunctional families. However, in some scenarios, a dysfunctional family may not but be the fault of the parent. To explain better, here is a story on dysfunctional family examples.

Let’s take an example. Mr. and Mrs. Singh has three children. They are a poor family. Mr. Singh tried to make ends meet by working three jobs. He is not always around for his children because of his work but he truly loves them. He works hard so he can give them the best. 

His wife, Mrs. Singh is a sickle cell patient. Due to her condition, she can not work for her family. She tries to do small menial tasks that won’t put a strain on her health. The fact that she can not contribute to her family depresses her. Soon she goes into drinking. 

Two of her children drop out of school to help the family. The last child feels neglected and struggles in school too. 

In the dysfunctional family example above, the family falls apart due to poverty and ill health. Some members tried to manage it while the others worsened it. Here there is no abuse or compulsions except Mrs. Singh’s drinking.

Effects Of Dysfunctional Families On Students

The children of dysfunctional families who are students will feel neglected. They would have no one to confide in or talk to about their problems. There would be no one to teach them the right things. 

Eventually, they would pick up bad habits from their families and become nuisances to society.

Conclusion

Dysfunctional families are families that don’t function as normal families do. Some characteristics of a dysfunctional family are conflict, poor communication, underlying issues, violence, isolation and so on. Dysfunctional parents affect their children, their families and the society negatively.